I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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