That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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