i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Operation Purity has been aborted
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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