Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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