I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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