you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
