Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
