She is in my trunk
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
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We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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