Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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