my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
