The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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