bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
