Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
