sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing