wat bout pragnant strippers??
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.