My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
