I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
