Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
