I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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