Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
