If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
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