the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We are two peas in an std pod
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
