Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
