i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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