Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
