oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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