This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
