So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just want nice things and good sex
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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