Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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