He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Pooping to opera.
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