Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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