Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
