Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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