my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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