You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
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