Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I smell like Dick and happiness
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
