if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
