Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
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I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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