so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.