i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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