I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?