we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
