So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
