shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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