well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
