The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize