Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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