Rock
Scissors
Fuck
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Alive.
So much puke
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
