i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
kristin has been a bad kristin
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
