if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
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I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
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I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize