I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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