she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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