As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
