i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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