I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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