i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
