I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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