He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize