wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I AM VODKA MAN
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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