i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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