doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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